Welcome

Welcome to my blog of random writings! As you have found your way here I hope that you will stay and read a little.

The purpose of me starting this blog is to mainly start writing and keep up with it. This last year has been quite a year and with it, I have found myself putting pen to paper A LOT trying to work out feeling and ideas. (continue reading...)

I hope you will join me for this journy,-MaKenzie

Started in memory of Curtis T. Brown. A pretty much fantastic uncle and all around a great guy! Love and miss you.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

If I Knew I Couldn't Fail

In 2012 I took a GED prep course, during which I had to write a few quick essays with the given topics. These are those essays. I plan to always remember them and where I started. 

Why Getting My GED is Important
By MaKenzie Beck
 Getting my GED is important to me because I want to improve the way I see myself. I want to improve the image I have of my past self, to enhance the image of my present self, and most importantly to create the best image of my future self.
 I want to improve the image of my past self. This does not mean I hope to change what has happened in my life, but rather to change the way I viewed myself. I always saw myself as inadequate when it came to education (education subjects) in conversations, but that is going to change! I know that my life has not taken a traditional route, but I have the ability to succeed and that makes me grateful for the past I've had and the trials and feeling of inadequacy I’m overcoming my getting my GED.
  The second thing getting my GED will do for me is change the way I see myself now. At present, it is often hard to feel like my life is going anywhere, but as I prepare for taking the GED test, I feel a sense of accomplishment, I feel satisfaction and confidence, and I feel like I can do this, I can do anything. I can, will and am getting my GED.
 The third thing getting my GED will do for me is change the image of my future. The possibilities are endless once I have my GED. I can go to college or a trade school if I prefer- I will have the choice to make! I could get a degree in something practical and have endless job opportunities, or I could get a degree in something I'm passionate about and compete for my dream career. It gives me the freedom to excel in life and knowledge, if I choose.
  So here it is: getting my GED is important because it is such a huge factor in my life-the life I want and plan to have. It can change yesterday's insecurities to challenges I've overcome. It can change today's nothings into today's somethings. And it can change tomorrow's "I don't knows" into endless possibilities."

The Three Most Important Qualities in a Spouse
By MaKenzie Beck
  I would consider the three most important qualities in a spouse to be trust, ambition and compatibility. I consider these qualities to be the most important because I feel that they are what I need most in the person I spend my life with.
  To begin with, I need someone who is trust worthy by nature. I need someone I can confide in and also rely on. I need someone who knows the difference between what is right and what is wrong, who then acts accordingly. What I don't need is someone who says one thing and does another.
  Secondly, I need a spouse with ambition. I can't handle my own procrastination, so I need someone with drive who will challenge me to be better. What I need in a spouse who is always headed towards something in life. What I don't want is a dead beat husband whose mind is stuck in the past.
  Thirdly, and most of all, I need to be compatible with my spouse. I want the positive traits I admire in my husband to become part of me. I want to be able to accept and handle his negative traits. I want us to each be who we are, but complement each other's qualities. What I don't desire is someone who only brings out my worst self.
  So finish, the qualities I find most important and look for in a spouse are these: first, trust. Secondly, someone to challenge me by their motivations. And third, someone who will help make me be a better person, foe being with them.

The Person Who has Influenced Me Most and How
by MaKenzie Beck
 The most influential person in my life so far would have to be my childhood friend Kayla and this is because I grew into myself while knowing her.
  I first met Kayla when we were eight years old. Kayla was drop dead gorgeous, athletic, outgoing, smart, and to top it off she was a tome-boy, making her the complete package for any boy's "perfect woman". And she was "perfect" in all the boys' eyes. I was not. I was homely looking, shy and lacked self-confidence.  People would go out of their way to talk to Kayla, a lot of the time walking past me to do so. So at this young tender age I learned about and acquired self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
  Secondly there were out early teenage years. To begin with Kayla had the body and face of a model and I would still occasionally be mistaken for a boy. Kayla was popular in high school, only a few people talked to me. Kayla excelled in athletics with little effort, and I worked my butt off to be decent. During this time I realized that Kayla was fortunate in life, but I was not nor ever would be and because she now lived in another state I could no longer lean on her. I had to rely on myself to be who I needed to be. Though I would never have Kayla's beauty, I could love and except what I had been given. Though I would never have her body figure, I would be able to work for the one I could get. Though I would never have her wit and charm, I could try and be outgoing for myself. At least I would try to be this for me, to love myself.
  Third came the end of our teenage years and adulthood. By the time I was eighteen I had established a basis of who I was; I was kind, hard working, accepting and fun- at least I thought so. Kayla had not established herself as an individual, but rather meshed herself with a boy. This is how she identified herself. At eighteen I was going to prom, Kayla was planning her wedding. At nineteen Kayla was experiencing motherhood, and I, the life of a young single confident adult. At twenty-one Kayla is the mother of two, and I am working to further my education, to live my dreams and to continue getting to know myself.
  To conclude Kayla is living the life she wants, the life that is expected of her. I don't know if she will ever feel lost in herself, but because of her influence I am confident in who I am. I am me, and I am becoming the best version of myself, because of her.


If I Could Improve One Thing in Myself and Why
By MaKenzie Beck
If I could make one improvement in myself I would change my procrastination into motivation. The reason I would choose this to be my improvement is because procrastination holds me back in life, makes me feel as though I've failed, and scares me of the future, where motivations does the opposite; it gets me where I want to be in life, helps me feel like I've succeeded, and makes me excited about my future.
  The first reason I want to change my procrastination into motivation is because it holds me back in life. Because of procrastination I never finished High School, and have not been able to accomplish the things my peers have, such as higher education, travel, and career. Motivation helps get me on track such as getting my GED.
  The second reason I would trade procrastination for motivation is procrastination makes me feel like a failure. whenever I procrastinate to the point of "past due", I feel as though I have failed, because I often let myself or someone relying on me down because I push the task at hand to the side, till it is too late. Motivation helps me succeed, because I accomplish the task with time to spare.
  And reason three for wanting to be motivated rather then a procrastinator is for my future. I am scared for my future because of my procrastination. I'm scared that my procrastination will continue to hold me back, and that I will not accomplish what I plan to in life. Motivation helps my future because I know what I need to do and just do it.
 To finish, the one improvement I would make in myself would be to change my ability to procrastinate into a motivational urge. My ability to procrastinate has made me feel like I've fallen short in life, failed, and worries me that I won't succeed in my future. Motivation helps me feel like my life is on track, determined, and that I will own my future. I prefer the way I feel when I'm motivated, far more then the way I feel after I've procrastinated, that is why I would, and strive to, improve this area of myself.

 
Favorite Relative and Why
By MaKenzie Beck
 (As a note, I love all my family and don't pick favorites! I just had to choose one person for this essay topic)

  My favorite relative would have to be my Aunt Nicole; she is my favorite because of the roles she has played in my life. Nicole has played the roles of aunt, sister and friend during my lifetime.
  Nicole first played the part of aunt by tending to me as a young girl. She was the best aunt ever! We would play dress up and 'house'. She taught me to dance, bake and crochet. She was who I wanted to be when I grew up.
  Secondly, Nicole was a sister figure. She took me to PG-13 rated movies, showed me how to do my make-up, and how to spot a boy checking me out. But most of all Nicole showed me what it takes to be a good person.
  Lastly, Nicole took the role of friend. Nicole is someone I can confide in and rely on. I can ask her for her opinions and advice and she mine. She respects me as an equal, encourages me in my dreams, and is honest and real when no one else seems to be.
  To finish, my aunt-sister-friend, Nicole is my favorite relative because she fits into my life in every way I've needed her. I needed her influence; as a young girl I looked up to her as an aunt. I needed her input; as a teenager she became the invested older sister I desired. And now, as an adult, she is the friend I always need; someone who knows all about me, and loves me nonetheless.


If I Knew I Couldn't Fail
by MaKenzie Beck 

  If I knew I could not fail, the change I would make I would make in my life would be to become an adventure photographer. The reasons I would do this if I knew I couldn't fail are to: experience everything I desire, document my experiences in and artistic form, and help others become aware of the possible experiences in life.
  The first reason I would be an adventure photographer if I knew I could not fail is because I want to experience all that I can. I want to meet new people and learn about their cultures. I want to wrestle alligators and swim with sharks. I want to climb high mountains and explore the oceans. I want to experience all that I can.
  The second reason I would be an adventure photographer is to document, in artistic form, every beauty I encounter that this world has to offer. I would document the pain and joy of the people I meet, the places I see, the food I eat, and the history I witness.
  The third reason I would be an adventure photographer is to help people become aware of the world around them. I want people to be interested in the people of South America, the wild life of Asia, and the scenic views of the Netherlands. I want to help people discover these beauties of our world in the comfort of their homes by the images I take.
  So if I knew I could not fail I would be and adventure photographer because it covers three areas I consider essential in my life: experiencing, documenting, and sharing. Experience what life has to offer. Document the beauty I experience. And share the beauty of my experiences by the images I capture.

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