Welcome

Welcome to my blog of random writings! As you have found your way here I hope that you will stay and read a little.

The purpose of me starting this blog is to mainly start writing and keep up with it. This last year has been quite a year and with it, I have found myself putting pen to paper A LOT trying to work out feeling and ideas. (continue reading...)

I hope you will join me for this journy,-MaKenzie

Started in memory of Curtis T. Brown. A pretty much fantastic uncle and all around a great guy! Love and miss you.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

English Class Essay:Argument/Position Essay

MaKenzie Beck
July 24, 2014
Argument/Position Essay

Citizen’s Right
Guns, a topic often accompanied by passionate opinions. For years the issue of gun control has been a concern in the United States for the individuals who believe in gun rights and for those who believe in their restrictions. There is the debate between those that think too many guns with little restriction through law adds to more violence and danger in society and then those who believe that violence will be bad weather restrictions are put on guns or not, but feel that firearms add to the individuals’ chances of protection. This desire for protection is where carrying concealed handguns lends assistance. Most law abiding citizens who carry concealed guns, do not do so with the intent to go and shoot someone, but rather they carry as a precaution, in the off chance someone threatens them they have protection. The end to this gun debate will not be seen for a long time, because there will always be people on one side who believe that guns are dangerous and should be abolished, and those on the other side who know guns are dangerous but understand them as a tool of protection.  I feel it is important that law abiding citizens have the right to carry concealed handguns, because when danger arises it is often up to the individuals to protect themselves and those around them.
Law abiding citizens who carry concealed handguns have the ability to protect as well as prevent/stop killing sprees. There are numerous accounts of lives saved because an individual was a carry concealed permit holder “When Kevin Mclaughlin entered the Dollar General in Orrville, Alabama, he probably did not expect it would be the last thing he would ever do. Brandishing a pistol, the man began herding people into the breakroom. But concealed permit holder Marlo Ellis waited until the right moment to gun down the potential murderer, which led many to call him a ‘Good Samaritan’ and a truehero.”(Becker) The lives saved that day were a blessing, but it also brings to mind the many massacres that have taken place in the U.S. through the years and one tends to ask the question, if one of those victims would have been carrying would loved ones still be alive. I do believe the killing sprees casualties would not have been as great if the at least one of the victims were carrying.
Unlike myself, gun control activists believe that having a carry concealed permit makes handguns more accessible to various citizens, and thus allows the crime rate to increase. This is a valid fear, when dangerous weapons become more accessible, dangerous people will find ways to acquire and use them. Plus when one understands that every state in the U.S. has their own requirements to obtain a carry conceal permit, it allows individuals who should not have the privilege of carrying get one. This gives pause to concerned individuals, the thought that people who may cause harm intentional or accidental, is a scary thought! A key example of this fear coming true was in two thousand and eleven Simons, a North Carolina man, was riding bicycles with his family when a man in an SUV named Diez started hassling them. Simons came to a stop on his bike followed by the vehicle. Simons walked over to the vehicle to talk with the Diez, but what he found was Diez holding a gun to his face and threatening to “shoot” and “kill” him. Then when Simons turned to leave he heard a bang, the bullet went through his bike helmet, miraculously just missing Simons left ear. (LUO) Diez is exactly the kind of person one does not want carrying a concealed weapon because without a reason he was ready to kill an innocent man in front of his family.  I understand the gun control activists desire to limit gun control because of this story, I would not want mentally unstable individuals like Diez who could flip out and threaten a life at any moment have the power of a gun.
 In continuing his article, about the danger of carrying concealed, MICHAEL LUO wrote “Mr. Diez, as it turned out, was one of more than 240,000 people in North Carolina with a permit to carry a concealed handgun… The New York Times examined the permit program in North Carolina, one of a dwindling number of states where the identities of permit holders remain public. The review, encompassing the last five years, offers a rare, detailed look at how a liberalized concealed weapons law has played out in one state... More than 2,400 permit holders were convicted of felonies or misdemeanors, excluding traffic-related crimes, over the five-year period, The Times found when it compared databases of recent criminal court cases and licensees. While the figure represents a small percentage of those with permits, more than 200 were convicted of felonies, including at least 10 who committed murder or manslaughter. All but two of the killers used a gun.” (Luo). Though the situation Simons had to face was awful, and there are more like it, in his article Luo references a New York Times statistics on the carry concealed in North Carolina but the credibility of these statistics as Nick Leghorn in his article, ‘NY Times Proves Concealed Carry License Holders More Law-Abiding Than the Population. Unintentionally.’, points out  “this analysis is based on the Times’numbers which they stated without referencing any sources, leaving us to take their word for their validity and leaving us no ability to double check their work.”(Leghorn) the lack of facts and citations in the Time’s article reflects Luo’s article and marks it untrustworthy.
Carrying a concealed handgun is sometimes crucial to one’s individual safety, especially for women. Though it is important to call the police, one must take into consideration that the average response time is ten minutes (APB Staff), that is crucial time, so one must take precautions to protect their individual needs.  In Washington, since two thousand and five, more than one hundred thousand of the four hundred and fifty one thousand, residents who are allowed to carry concealed handguns are women, “a common concern... with women who carry: the importance of self-defense.” (Rosenthal). These women are admirable, they understand that danger is always a possibility and that their safety and life may depend on a carry concealed handgun.
The gun control activist and founder of Moms Demand Action, Shannon Watts recently wrote an article about how gun laws are not helping women safety. She states “American women are 11 times more likely to be murdered with guns than women in other high-income countries. On average, 46 women are shot to death by a current or former husband or boyfriend every month. And those mass shootings that that occur in America with startling regularity? Fifty-seven percent of them involve domestic violence.” (Watts) Watts may have a point with the statistics, but she makes women seem like helpless beings who simply sicum to abuse. Women in America are just as capable of carrying a gun for their protection as a man is for offencive purposes. Another thing Watts does not mention is that if a man wants to hurt a women, with or without a gun, he will find a way. “If there were no assault weapons available and no this or no that, this guy is going to find something, right?,” (GOLDBERG). Men are simply the stronger more aggressive sex and every women should be able to defend herself from them. When women carry concealed handguns they allow themselves a  fighting chance to protect and defend their well being.
It is my opinion that the privilege to carry a concealed handgun, belongs to every law abiding citizen, because it is their right to protect themselve and others from danger.  Guns are dangerous and can be harmful if placed in the wrong hands, as gun control activist believe and are right in doing so. Individuals do get threatened, hurt, and killed when guns are found in the wrong hands, however the solution to this is not applying stricter gun laws, but rather to make the use of carry concealed handguns common for law abiding citizens so that more people can protect themselves. Whether one uses a carry concealed handgun to protect the individuals surrounding them from a massacre or the weapon is a tool of self defence one has the ability to protect and that is every law abiding citizen’s right.

Cited Work
Becker, “Armed Man Gathers People Together in Dollar General Breakroom, but Concealed Carry Holder Saves Them”

 Luo, “Guns in Public, and Out of Sight”

 Leghorn, “NY Times Proves Concealed Carry License Holders More Law-Abiding Than the Population. Unintentionally.”


Rosenthal, “State's concealed-carry permits skyrocket, especially for women”

Watts , “Why Aren't We Doing More to Keep Women Safe From Gun Violence?”

Goldberg, “The Case for More Guns (and More Gun Control)”


English Class Essay:Literary Analysis Essay

MaKenzie Beck
July 16th, 2014
Literary Analysis Essay
The Power of Point of View
A Literary Analysis Essay of: “They’re Made Out of Meat”
“What in the world am I reading” was the first thought that came to mind as my eyes traveled across the black words that contrasted a white background, but as I continued to read I felt my facial muscles flex into a smile and I could not take my eyes from the conversation unfolding before me. “They’re Made Out of Meat” by Terry Bisson is, as I quickly discovered, an enjoyable short story about the seemingly excruciating difficulties two extraterrestrial beings face when dealing with other life forms. This story is original and entertaining because the author chose to highlight certain literary components to let the reader witness a different perspective. The key literary component in “They’re Made Out of Meat” is the point of view, because without this element the story would lack its captivating originality.
            “They’re Made Out of Meat” is a clever short story about the dilemma aliens face when dealing with humans for the first time, but what makes this story alluring is that it is presented from the unique point of view of aliens. The story by Terry Bisson is about two extraterrestrial beings discussing, as one explains to the other, the unusual characteristics of humans and then the  issue of whether or not, to make further contact.  "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?" (Terry Bisson), with this quote, one is able to understand how the human race is perceived by the aliens: humans have the ability to think, love and dream, but in the end they are still just meat. This helps the reader understand the limited and somewhat discriminate view the aliens have of humans and sets up the platform for the alien’s conflict to respond to the humans’ effort to make extraterrestrial contact.  As the conversation of these two extraterrestrial beings continues, the reader comes to understand that this specific race of aliens are quite intelligent and have taken a scientific approach to discovering various life forms throughout the universe, so when the race made of meat is discovered the aliens decide that   "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing." (Bisson). With this thought these aliens decide that the meat, unlike other life forms of the universe, is not worth the time and effort that can be used elsewhere and thus take the initiative and disregard all information pertaining to the meat and their planet. The aliens point of view towards humans in this story presents a new, enjoyable, outlook to how humans may appear and present the theme of not judging based on prejudices.
“They’re Made Out of Meat” is a compelling story because the point of view is presented through the dialogue of the two narrative characters. When analyzing the point of view it is important to note that point of view is “the position of the narrator in relation to the story, as indicated by the narrator's outlook fromwhich the events are depicted and by the attitude toward the characters.”  That is, point of view is the attitude the story’s narrator has towards his connection to the story and how he sees characters and events.  A point of view is often formed by the beliefs and past experiences of the narrator. The narrators in “They’re Made Out of Meat” have their opinions about the humans based on their own history of growing up alien and developing beliefs from their cultural elements. The author used the alien’s point of view in this story as a literacy tool to, in a sense, persuade the reader to see through the alien’s eyes by having the aliens be present and speak in first person form. The use of dialogue in “They’re Made Out of Meat” gives the reader an “eavesdroppers” insight, meaning there is no actual description of location or appearances, but enough information is given to infer a Sci-Fi setting and understand the narrators’ limited and biased point of view. In their conversation one alien explains to the other the unique makeup of the humans they have examined, "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat." (Bisson). The use of point of view in this story is entertaining, but I do not find myself emotionally affected by how the story is conversationally brought about mainly because I do not find the idea of the alien narrators to be credible, thus it is simply and enjoyable story.
In the extremely entertaining short story “They’re Made Out of Meat” by Terry Bisson, the point of view is the most useful literary too, because it has the ability to engage the reader with its use of first person present tense, and convince the reader to be open minded and to see the story unfold through the filter of the alien characters eyes. The point of view helps the reader appreciate the theme of not being prejudice, enjoy the opinions of the alien characters and understand the inferred extraterrestrial setting. In his story Bisson, used point of view to help his readers  enjoy a charming story about how alien life forms first view humans and then the perplexity of how to deal with them. But Bisson was also able to individualize the extraterrestrial characters and the difficult situations to a point that the reader has the ability to, without realizing, relate to the characters. I believe it is safe to say that without Terry Bisson’s use of point of view in “They’re Made Out of Meat”, the story would not be as entertaining as it is.


















Work Cited
April 1991


English Class Essay:Synthesis Essay


MaKenzie Beck

July 10th 2014

Synthesis Essay

The Hashtag Effect

            As a partial twitter user and fan of a good laugh, I was surprised at my ignorance when it came to the #CancelColbert campaign. I had no idea the drastic measures twitter users go through to feel as though they have been heard, but what is it they are sayinging? This question could have many answers, but the two following articles differ enough to express this point.  “#Cancel Your Outrage: Stephen Colbert In Not a Racist” by James Poniewozik and “The Campaign To “Cancel” Colbert” by Jay Caspian Kang are two articles that came out to address the “#CancelColbert” twitter hashtag. In his article Kang gives a detailed description of what occurred and how the purpose behind the hashtag was more to bring racism awareness to the American community then it was to cancel the show “The Colbert Report”. Unrelatedly, Poniewozik’s article only lightly touches on the “race” topic, while his main point is more about how twitter users are so quick to assume the worst and judge, with no thought of further research. I found these articles to point out two major flaws of today’s society, myself to be included: most of society does not tend to think about the effects of a funny joke with racial undertones or how quick we are to pass  judgment, through social media, without a thought to facts, though both definitely impact our society.
In their articles brought about by “#CancelColbert”, both Kang and Poniewozik address the issues of race and the misinterpretation of twitter, for society, but have little else in common. In his article, Poniewozik  views the “#CancelColbert” campaign as “A race to be the most offended first”, that is, who can be the first to win at being the most disgusted? and addresses the  hasty demand that trended on Twitter after a “Comedy Central account” under the name ‘Stephen Colbert’, tweeted “I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever,” a quote from one of Stephen Colbert’s skits meant to make fun of the Washington Redskins owner, Daniel Snyder and his foundation for “Original Americans”. But the tweet from Comedy Central lacked context and therefore was viewed as racist. Aside from explaining this, and pointing out that the whole skit the tweet came from could be considered racist by some, Poniewozik does not talk much about racism being a main issue. Rather, Poniewozik discusses, his disappointment at  how individuals on twitter were so quick to be offended by the tweet and then ready to judge instead of looking into further information on the subject or even Colbert’s history and credibility. Poniewozik credits this to, “the instantaneous urge ...to react fastest and most righteously, to...demand the greatest punishment, to … immediately assume the worst of somebody who crosses you the wrong way.” (Poniewozik), this is the mentality that the media world provides. With the interconnectedness of individuals through media one acquires a sense of authority and therefore feels has the right to demand an “instantaneous”“punishment”, even if it really isn’t called for. This instant need to express one’s undeveloped, uneducated opinion and demand justice is gratified by twitter use in today’s society and this, rightly so, is what upsets Poniewozik about the “#CancelColber” campaign.
In Kang’s article he addresses the same misunderstood tweet as Poniewozik, but instead of ranting about the misinformed social media community, his research led him directly to the issue of racism and it’s impact on society. Kang writes about how the “#CancelColbert” campaign came about by an Asian-American, writer, activist and twitter standout, Suey Park, who was identified by the Guardian for her efforts  in “top 30 young people in digital media.”. Kang explains how Park had read the Tweet supposedly from Stephen Colbert's twitter account, and been greatly offended, but despite the strategic hashtag she created, did not actually desire that the show “The Colbert Report” be canceled. Park

“saw the hashtag as a way to critique white liberals who use forms of racial humor to mock more blatant forms of racism. “Well-intentioned racial humor does not actually do anything to end racism or the Redskins mascot,” ... “That sort of racial humor just makes people who hide under the title of progressivism more comfortable.”’ (Kang).
That is to say, Park was pointing out that liberals were failing in their progressiveness as they attempted to use racial humor to make fun of others’ obvious racism, “Well-intentioned racial humor” is still racist and doesn’t make those who are racist change their minds. Kang continues his article stating that he understood the Stephen Colbert tweet to be a joke and as an Asian-America was not offended by it, but he does understand Park’s desire to bring racism awareness through her “#CancelColbert” hashtag. As Kang finishes his article he asks, “if those of us who find it distasteful know as much about the intentions of the hashtag activists as we think we do.” (Kang) And I would say, most of the time we don’t. Clearly some would think that “#CancelColbert” is simply a plea to cancel a TV show, but as we’ve seen, the underlining meaning was a call to raise racism awareness in today’s society!
Both Poniewozik’s “#Cancel Your Outrage: Stephen Colbert In Not a Racist” article and Kang’s “The Campaign To “Cancel” Colbert” address issues of society, but along with their main points, differ greatly in structure. When reading Poinewozik’s article I thought he took more of an opinion expressing approach rather than factual: “ Because what else did you need to know? What context did you need? The tweet was right there! Somebody retweeted it! People whose reactions I trust about this sort of thing are angry!” (Poniewozik), He expresses how society too often believes something simply because we trust who said it. But Poniewozik is, I feel, guilty of doing the same thing, his article lacks sources and has a take “take my word for it” tone that while reading didn’t feel the need to dispute , I found this to make him, despite the article being on “TIME”, uncredible.  While reading Kang’s article I felt well informed and thought he was credible because he stated the information, talked about his interview and then expressed his views from a professional and personal point.  It is my opinion that Poniewozik and Kang use their style of writing to attract the audiences they have, the “agree by persuasive tone” of Poniewozik and Kang’s “facts and opinion based” through these styles both authors grip societies attention.
I tend to place myself with society when it comes to the undertones of racial jokes and do not escape the fast opinion based on little information. I appreciated what Kang had to say in his researched article “THE CAMPAIGN TO “CANCEL” COLBERT”, about the “#CancelColbert” hashtag underlying racism message. And I tend to agree, and view myself guilty, of Poniewozik’s idea that with social media and hashtags people too often create an opinion based solely on the catchiness of a title instead of the actual facts in ”#Cancel Your Outrage: Stephen Colbert Is Not a Racist”.  The hashtag “#CancelColber, as we’ve seen can, was meant to bring carial awareness, but also brought to light the mentality people of have of passing judgment without any other reason than a catch title they think they should defend. In society we should take this, the underlying meanings,  into account the next time we see a controversial hashtag. It is up to society to try and understand the deeper meaning and effects though a little research before we take a “stand” on the topic.


KANG, “The Campaign to “Cancel” Colbert”

, “#Cancel Your Outrage: Stephen Colbert Is Not a Racist”



English Class Essay:Visual Rhetorical Analysis

MaKenzie Beck
Visual Rhetorical Analysis Essay
July 2nd, 2014
“Compassion in world farming”  A Visual  Rhetorical  Analysis Essay
While watching the campaign for “Compassion in world farming”1, a cute video about free range farm pigs in the United Kingdom and their interaction with the London population through technology, my mind traveled back to my own happy experiences with the pigs I tended to growing up.  I was reminded of how cute pigs actually are, and the fun my siblings and I had raising them. As I watched the video I was excited to see the Londoners’ enthusiasm at the chance to feed the eager pigs with the use of a smartphone, interactive billboard, and a catapult machine. And for the first time, I understand the contrast, of the health benefits and worth of life, between a free range animal versus an animal raised in the cruel condition of caged life. I was affected by this video, after watching it I wanted to help the cause of free range animals! I wanted to do my part and make it my  personal goal to help all farm animals become free range! And then I realized, the video had succeeded in its purpose to raise awareness and convert  to the cause. Thus, a video campaign advertisement is a useful way of bringing awareness to the public because through the visual strategies2   and rhetorical appeals of one’s reasons (with logos), emotions (through pathos), and view of character (by ethos) can be persuaded.
The video campaign starts with a happy bluegrass-like song  and a lime green screen that reads, in bold white lettering, “Compassion in World Farming campaign for pigs to enjoy the freedom they deserve.”  This introduces the reason for the video, to help a specific purpose:   the well being of farm pigs.  The video then goes to show clips of pigs walking, eating,  and sleeping around  an open  grassy pasture  accompanied with facts about pigs  being “intelligent… social and playful..  and have dreams”. A contrasting, pink background, slide is introduced containing tabloids about horse meat found in hamburger and continues “we wanted to show why free range farming’s best”. Then the  video shows  how “The world’s first really live feed” was staged and describes how an interactive billboard in a busy London shopping center was linked to a free range country farm.  A slide then gives instructions on how to use a smartphone app to feed apples to the pigs on the farm. These instructions are reiterated  when the next clip shows a customer purchase an apple through the smartphone app and while facing the interactive billboard (that shows live footage of the pigs), moves her phone in a throwing motion, the feed machine on the farm releases an apple, a  “great throw” caption pops-up on the billboard, and the pigs enjoy the gift, all while the customer oozes with the excitement of feeding a pig miles away via technology. The video then shows clips of various individuals enjoy this same thrill and sharing the experience on social media. As the video comes to an end the same lime green and pink slides broadcast the results of the live feed event and express how “Londoners were reminded... that to eat free range is to eat happy.”  followed by one last head shot of an adorable pig and the logo for “Compassion in world farming” and “ The World’s First Really Live Feed”  to bring the video full circle.
The video influences viewers because its reasoning is easy to follow. I found the reason for this campaign message to be quite simple because the purpose, point blank, is to raise awareness about the benefits3 of free range farming. The video’s simplicity makes the message stand out through the use of text that unravels in turn, between clips, revealing the object, the facts, the reasons, and finishing with the results. This use of reading the word and seeing a clip has the ability to  stimulate the mind4 and fool the viewer, because the word presents an idea and the clip allows the subconscious to accept the word, based on the “seeing is believing”5 mentality, thus influencing the video’s viewer, with reason, towards the belief that free range farming is the better form of farming.
This video contains the power of persuasion because it appeals to human emotion without humanity being aware. When I first watched this video I only thought, “How cute!”, it was not until I started analyzing the work that I realized my reaction was the goal and that every detail of the video, from the colors and sound to the pigs themselves, was a strategic tool to break down any barriers my emotions may have built. The sound of the harmonica6 set the mood, my mind was automatically transferred to the idea of “country”. Then the use of the lime green7 and pink8 colors set the viewer up to accept new possibilities without judgement and called upon one’s insight, hope, and compassion. The Londoners featured in the campaign vary so much in age, that most people watching can in some way relate. Even the use of pigs is a technique of emotional appeal, rather than using other free range animals such as cows or chickens, pigs are used because our subconscious holds the childhood feelings stored from the stories like Charlotte’s Web and The Three Little Pigs9, where the pigs are cute and defenceless. The campaign also humanizes the pigs by giving them characteristics such as “intelligent” and “social” to help the viewers understand that the pigs are relatable, again appealing to one’s emotions..
The video campaign's last appeal is that of credibility, that is, the swaying of an opinion with truth. The video seems to be accurate when watching it in passing, but when taken apart and analyzed it becomes clear that more research is required to testify of truth. While watching the video we notice the contrast  between the positive idea of the free range pigs and the negative feel of the horse meat hamburger tabloids10. This contrast is the only opposition the video presents and if one see the video in passing one probably will not catch that there are many steps in meat processing11 that occurs between farm and store, therefor even free range pork could end up mixed with anything! And though free range farming does seem like a positive, based on the video, the moral truth will always depend12 on whom one speaks with and what they hope to find and believe.
The video campaign, “Compassion in world farming” is an adorable ad that brings one’s attentions to the benefits of free range pig farming while using the the nonverbal strategies and rhetorical appeals to convince you that it is the correct, more humane, form of farming. The video used logos to appeal to the viewer with reason, that is, an understandable point; the benefits of the pigs’ free range lifestyle. Then the appeal of pathos through the emotions touched by the visual strategies; the music, the color, the people, the animals, and in my case the memories. And lastly, Ethos was appealed by the truth given and not given in the video; the positive belief that free range pig farming is more humane for the animals, and the negative truth, that no matter how humane the raising situation may be, the pig will still be eaten.


2) Ramage,J.D., & Bean, J.C., & Johnson, J..(2006,2009,2012)  The Allyn & Bacon Guide  
to Writing (6th ed.)
United States: Pearson Education, Inc.
3)  Author unknown (2011, July). Free-range pigs
4) ANNIE MURPHY PAUL ( 2012, March). Your Brain on Fiction

5)  Author unknown (2013, December) Seeing Is Believing-Wikipedia
6) “All I Want Is You” song by Barry Louis Polisar
7) Author, date, title unknown
8) Author, date unknown, The Color Pink  
9) Author unknown, (2014, June) Pigs in Popular Culture-Wikipedia
10)  Felicity Lawrence (2013, October) Horsemeat scandal: where did the 29% horse in your Tesco burger come from?
11) Author, date unknown,  Livestock slaughter procedures
12) Author, date unknown, The Organic and Free-Range Myth


Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Violin

Blast from the past! I wrote this when I was just a little kid! probably one of my first, if not my first, poem.

The Violin
 
by MaKenzie Jo Beck
11/29/00
9 years old
 
A String,
A String
Oh, how delicate it is on
A violin,
A violin
It plays so gracefully
Only I could imagine.
It is smoothly carved by
A carpenter,
A carpenter
Has tools to make the violins with.
I love to go to concerts
That have violins.

Knock knock



 Knock Knock
 By MaKenzie Beck

Knock knock
Was the sound at the door
Knock knock
Was the echo that filled the room
Knock knock
Was the dagger to my soul
Knock

Squeak
Was the sound at the door
Squeak
Was the echo that filled the room
Squeak
Was the dagger to my heart
Squeeeeaak

Hhaaaa
Was the sound of the last breath breathed
Hhaaaa
Was retreated from the room
Hhaaaa
Was the sound I sobbed
As death took your smiling face to a better place

Silence

Tick tock
Was the sound of time passing
Tick tock
Was the echo in my daily life
Tick tock
Is the pound of my heart as it holds a place for you, and moves on
Tick tock
Knock knock

If I Knew I Couldn't Fail

In 2012 I took a GED prep course, during which I had to write a few quick essays with the given topics. These are those essays. I plan to always remember them and where I started. 

Why Getting My GED is Important
By MaKenzie Beck
 Getting my GED is important to me because I want to improve the way I see myself. I want to improve the image I have of my past self, to enhance the image of my present self, and most importantly to create the best image of my future self.
 I want to improve the image of my past self. This does not mean I hope to change what has happened in my life, but rather to change the way I viewed myself. I always saw myself as inadequate when it came to education (education subjects) in conversations, but that is going to change! I know that my life has not taken a traditional route, but I have the ability to succeed and that makes me grateful for the past I've had and the trials and feeling of inadequacy I’m overcoming my getting my GED.
  The second thing getting my GED will do for me is change the way I see myself now. At present, it is often hard to feel like my life is going anywhere, but as I prepare for taking the GED test, I feel a sense of accomplishment, I feel satisfaction and confidence, and I feel like I can do this, I can do anything. I can, will and am getting my GED.
 The third thing getting my GED will do for me is change the image of my future. The possibilities are endless once I have my GED. I can go to college or a trade school if I prefer- I will have the choice to make! I could get a degree in something practical and have endless job opportunities, or I could get a degree in something I'm passionate about and compete for my dream career. It gives me the freedom to excel in life and knowledge, if I choose.
  So here it is: getting my GED is important because it is such a huge factor in my life-the life I want and plan to have. It can change yesterday's insecurities to challenges I've overcome. It can change today's nothings into today's somethings. And it can change tomorrow's "I don't knows" into endless possibilities."

The Three Most Important Qualities in a Spouse
By MaKenzie Beck
  I would consider the three most important qualities in a spouse to be trust, ambition and compatibility. I consider these qualities to be the most important because I feel that they are what I need most in the person I spend my life with.
  To begin with, I need someone who is trust worthy by nature. I need someone I can confide in and also rely on. I need someone who knows the difference between what is right and what is wrong, who then acts accordingly. What I don't need is someone who says one thing and does another.
  Secondly, I need a spouse with ambition. I can't handle my own procrastination, so I need someone with drive who will challenge me to be better. What I need in a spouse who is always headed towards something in life. What I don't want is a dead beat husband whose mind is stuck in the past.
  Thirdly, and most of all, I need to be compatible with my spouse. I want the positive traits I admire in my husband to become part of me. I want to be able to accept and handle his negative traits. I want us to each be who we are, but complement each other's qualities. What I don't desire is someone who only brings out my worst self.
  So finish, the qualities I find most important and look for in a spouse are these: first, trust. Secondly, someone to challenge me by their motivations. And third, someone who will help make me be a better person, foe being with them.

The Person Who has Influenced Me Most and How
by MaKenzie Beck
 The most influential person in my life so far would have to be my childhood friend Kayla and this is because I grew into myself while knowing her.
  I first met Kayla when we were eight years old. Kayla was drop dead gorgeous, athletic, outgoing, smart, and to top it off she was a tome-boy, making her the complete package for any boy's "perfect woman". And she was "perfect" in all the boys' eyes. I was not. I was homely looking, shy and lacked self-confidence.  People would go out of their way to talk to Kayla, a lot of the time walking past me to do so. So at this young tender age I learned about and acquired self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
  Secondly there were out early teenage years. To begin with Kayla had the body and face of a model and I would still occasionally be mistaken for a boy. Kayla was popular in high school, only a few people talked to me. Kayla excelled in athletics with little effort, and I worked my butt off to be decent. During this time I realized that Kayla was fortunate in life, but I was not nor ever would be and because she now lived in another state I could no longer lean on her. I had to rely on myself to be who I needed to be. Though I would never have Kayla's beauty, I could love and except what I had been given. Though I would never have her body figure, I would be able to work for the one I could get. Though I would never have her wit and charm, I could try and be outgoing for myself. At least I would try to be this for me, to love myself.
  Third came the end of our teenage years and adulthood. By the time I was eighteen I had established a basis of who I was; I was kind, hard working, accepting and fun- at least I thought so. Kayla had not established herself as an individual, but rather meshed herself with a boy. This is how she identified herself. At eighteen I was going to prom, Kayla was planning her wedding. At nineteen Kayla was experiencing motherhood, and I, the life of a young single confident adult. At twenty-one Kayla is the mother of two, and I am working to further my education, to live my dreams and to continue getting to know myself.
  To conclude Kayla is living the life she wants, the life that is expected of her. I don't know if she will ever feel lost in herself, but because of her influence I am confident in who I am. I am me, and I am becoming the best version of myself, because of her.


If I Could Improve One Thing in Myself and Why
By MaKenzie Beck
If I could make one improvement in myself I would change my procrastination into motivation. The reason I would choose this to be my improvement is because procrastination holds me back in life, makes me feel as though I've failed, and scares me of the future, where motivations does the opposite; it gets me where I want to be in life, helps me feel like I've succeeded, and makes me excited about my future.
  The first reason I want to change my procrastination into motivation is because it holds me back in life. Because of procrastination I never finished High School, and have not been able to accomplish the things my peers have, such as higher education, travel, and career. Motivation helps get me on track such as getting my GED.
  The second reason I would trade procrastination for motivation is procrastination makes me feel like a failure. whenever I procrastinate to the point of "past due", I feel as though I have failed, because I often let myself or someone relying on me down because I push the task at hand to the side, till it is too late. Motivation helps me succeed, because I accomplish the task with time to spare.
  And reason three for wanting to be motivated rather then a procrastinator is for my future. I am scared for my future because of my procrastination. I'm scared that my procrastination will continue to hold me back, and that I will not accomplish what I plan to in life. Motivation helps my future because I know what I need to do and just do it.
 To finish, the one improvement I would make in myself would be to change my ability to procrastinate into a motivational urge. My ability to procrastinate has made me feel like I've fallen short in life, failed, and worries me that I won't succeed in my future. Motivation helps me feel like my life is on track, determined, and that I will own my future. I prefer the way I feel when I'm motivated, far more then the way I feel after I've procrastinated, that is why I would, and strive to, improve this area of myself.

 
Favorite Relative and Why
By MaKenzie Beck
 (As a note, I love all my family and don't pick favorites! I just had to choose one person for this essay topic)

  My favorite relative would have to be my Aunt Nicole; she is my favorite because of the roles she has played in my life. Nicole has played the roles of aunt, sister and friend during my lifetime.
  Nicole first played the part of aunt by tending to me as a young girl. She was the best aunt ever! We would play dress up and 'house'. She taught me to dance, bake and crochet. She was who I wanted to be when I grew up.
  Secondly, Nicole was a sister figure. She took me to PG-13 rated movies, showed me how to do my make-up, and how to spot a boy checking me out. But most of all Nicole showed me what it takes to be a good person.
  Lastly, Nicole took the role of friend. Nicole is someone I can confide in and rely on. I can ask her for her opinions and advice and she mine. She respects me as an equal, encourages me in my dreams, and is honest and real when no one else seems to be.
  To finish, my aunt-sister-friend, Nicole is my favorite relative because she fits into my life in every way I've needed her. I needed her influence; as a young girl I looked up to her as an aunt. I needed her input; as a teenager she became the invested older sister I desired. And now, as an adult, she is the friend I always need; someone who knows all about me, and loves me nonetheless.


If I Knew I Couldn't Fail
by MaKenzie Beck 

  If I knew I could not fail, the change I would make I would make in my life would be to become an adventure photographer. The reasons I would do this if I knew I couldn't fail are to: experience everything I desire, document my experiences in and artistic form, and help others become aware of the possible experiences in life.
  The first reason I would be an adventure photographer if I knew I could not fail is because I want to experience all that I can. I want to meet new people and learn about their cultures. I want to wrestle alligators and swim with sharks. I want to climb high mountains and explore the oceans. I want to experience all that I can.
  The second reason I would be an adventure photographer is to document, in artistic form, every beauty I encounter that this world has to offer. I would document the pain and joy of the people I meet, the places I see, the food I eat, and the history I witness.
  The third reason I would be an adventure photographer is to help people become aware of the world around them. I want people to be interested in the people of South America, the wild life of Asia, and the scenic views of the Netherlands. I want to help people discover these beauties of our world in the comfort of their homes by the images I take.
  So if I knew I could not fail I would be and adventure photographer because it covers three areas I consider essential in my life: experiencing, documenting, and sharing. Experience what life has to offer. Document the beauty I experience. And share the beauty of my experiences by the images I capture.